nick: do you have a signature on your texts?
gatsby: no............................old sport
an alternate version of spiderman where he doesn’t actually do anything with his powers but simply identifies himself as spider otherkin
Seven year since the accident today. I am sad although I’m trying to remember that day and it’s in bits and pieces now. I haven’t left the couch. Time flies.
what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
when somebody introduces a dog to you by saying “this is my dog”